


ghost voyeur john lennon

by panquacks



Category: The Beatles
Genre: Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 22:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14006082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panquacks/pseuds/panquacks
Summary: Paul goes to Georges house for the first time since Johns death because hes depressed and needs someone to talk to. Also ghost John is there. But they dont know that... or maybe George does.





	ghost voyeur john lennon

**Author's Note:**

> hey so heres a thing that never happened!  
> its mostly abt paul and george. but its in johns pov. cause thats how i wanted it fuck u. also capitalizing is for nerds. i did it in the summary to trick you.
> 
> also this is kinda romantic but it could also be seen platonic.  
> qlso please be nice im sensitive and dumb but i try my best.

the afterlife was a strange place. everything, anything, and nothing. underwhelming and overwhelming. it was beautiful. serenity and warmth and comfort.  
and it was unbearably bleak. terribly, horribly quiet. sometimes john thought he was in hell.

he spent his afterlife stalking his loved ones, mostly.  
although to be fair, there wasnt much else to do.  
or.. well actually there were many other things he could be doing. he could be doing anything. he was dead.  
but this is what he wanted to do. he couldnt get closure until they had.  
and he hadnt been dead that long.

which is why he was standing on this doorstep beside paul mccartney. well, paul couldnt see him. and john knew that. he had tried to speak to paul from beyond, like in all the movies. but it never really worked out. sometimes john would trick himself into believing that someone could see him, sense him, hear him, feel him, anything. but it was almost always hopeless. 

paul looked like shit. john didnt blame him.

and paul hadnt been taking his death very well. and john didnt blame him for that either.

paul knocked on the door with the heavy brass knocker. and then stood back and sighed deeply, composing himself.  
the action grounded john in the setting around him, a setting he could not interact with.

it was georges house. john had been here before, obviously. and he looked out to the yard. he scanned pauls car, parked in front of the house, noted that he had driven here by himself. john did love georges house. the large gates kept anyone out and even without that, the acres of land surrounding the house always left george with plently of privacy. what a shrewd old hermit, john thought. he loved it.

he turned back towards paul once he heard the door open.

george was barefoot. his clothing was loose, the neckline of his shirt was square and showing off plenty of collarbone. his hair was mused slightly. he looked like he had just climbed out of bed, he looked tired.

george.  
john hadnt stalked george as much as he had with paul.  
he didnt like to think of it as stalking but there wasnt really a better term.  
john watched paul while he was by himself. he watched him cry and curse and write and sing. he watched paul a lot.  
he really wished that he could talk to paul.  
watching george was a lot harder.  
george was more spiritual. maybe john was just projecting. maybe he wanted to believe that someone could see him. but every once in a while he could convince himself that george could see him. or feel him. or sense his aura or some hindu bullshit like that. but it was never clear.

"paul."

george had spoken. his voice was gruff, like he hadnt used it in a while.

"george."

pauls voice cracked immediately, but he tried to gloss over it. like maybe if george ignored how close he was to breaking then he could ignore it too.

"how are you?" paul asked.

"youre not well." george replied, calm

"you didnt answer my question." paul pointed out. john noticed how it made george clench his teeth.

"paul its kinda late." george started. and he was right. the sky was dusted in pretty purples and oranges as the sun began to dip below the horizon. john didnt know the exact time but he supposed that it didnt really matter.

"why dont you go home. you can come back tomorrow and we can talk. we'll have tea." george was looking off into the sky while he talked. he looked like he had a lot on his mind. john always thought george looked like he had a lot on his mind. but he probably just didnt want to look at paul.

"you dont even know why im here." paul retorted, his lips curling up into a lazy sneer.

"youre here about john." george said quickly, his eyes snapping back to paul. a challenge. john felt his heart rate quicken.

paul broke. tears started escaping before he could do anything about it and once the floodgates opened paul had no way to close them. he laughed cruelly and let out a frustrated groan as he buried his head in his hands. he tried desperately to wipe his tears away but more just replaced them. he had turned away from george.

"fine! ill leave! it was pointless coming here. i should've known! fuck your tea harrison!" paul sounded bitter, his tone venomous. he marched angrily across the porch towards his car but george caught his arm before he could get down the steps.  
paul stumbled back towards george, and clicked his mouth shut. suddenly quieted, though his gaze did not meet georges.

"if you want to talk then we can talk. but i think you might want some rest first. youre a mess, paul. compose yourself." george stayed steady, calm. melancholy, john thought.

paul tugged his arm from george, whipped around to face him, his tear flow had lightened. though he was still visibly angry; distressed.

"i dont need to compose myself!" his voice cracked again and caught. he took a shaky breath before releasing it. quiet. for a moment. he shuffled forward, his eyes were trained on georges chest, eyes caught on the dull orange pull string on his shirt.

"i need you." it was a whisper and his voice sounded just as pathetic as he looked. john never saw paul this low before. and knowing it was because of him made his heart churn. he felt guilty.

george stepped forward and pressed himself against paul, pulled the other man into a hug that paul gladly fell into. he wrapped his arms around george, his eyes closed as be buried himself in his shoulder. he felt his legs start to go out and once his knees buckled george helped ease them to the ground. paul folded into georges lap willingly, feeling secure with arms around him.

john sat with his legs crossed a few feet away.

george twirled pauls hair mindlessly while he stared off into the distance, just past johns head.

john shifted, so that he was directly in georges line of sight. just to amuse himself. the wood patio underneath him creaked quietly, though that was all the effect his presence had. even still, georges eyes focused a bit, and with george looking directly at him, john could convince himself that there was recognition in those eyes.

"george?" john spoke softly, as if afraid to scare the pair. but george did not respond. and paul did not look up. they did not hear him. still, georges stare did not waver, he studied johns face carefully, almost judging. or thats what it felt like to john. he turned around to see if there was anything behind him that george could be looking at but found nothing. and when he turned back georges gaze had moved, his eyes now set on pauls hands as he played with the boys fingers and laced their hands together quietly.

john huffed quietly. he decided it was all in his head. he wanted george to see him. to say something and communicate. but he was alone. an eternity of watching and never interacting.

"its not fair." paul said quietly. he had calmed down significantly, his head rested on georges shoulder as he stared blankly at a spot on the ground.

george was quiet for a while, like he trying to think of a response that would perfectly ease paul. he eventually settled on. "no. its not."

paul continued.

"it wasnt supposed to end like that. i deserved better."

george nodded, agreeing. he seemed pensive.

"so did i." he whispered. john took a deep breath.

"what if youre next?" paul pondered quietly, his voice wavering. george sighed deeply, about to cut in but paul spoke first. "what if something happens and youre gone and i have no one. and things between me and you will end like they did between me and him."

george hesitated. "how did things between you and him end?"

"bad." paul said coldly, blankly. it made johns heart sink. paul had pulled his hand away from georges to pick at the wood below them.

"no they didnt." george scolded lightly. "maybe things werent perfect but ye loved each other. we all loved each other. i never stopped lovin ye." he sounded a bit choked up, and john watched as he played with the sleeve of pauls sweater.

"ye. we loved each other. but we were piss poor at showin it. never called or dropped by or wrote. such a bastard, he is." pauls eyes watered but he didnt cry. it felt bittersweet to hear paul insult him. john wanted to beg for forgiveness.

"yeah." george agreed quietly. and there again was a taste of the soft melancholy that hung around george nowadays. "im angry at him too. but i dont blame him."

it was a more reserved statement than john deserved to hear and he looked down in shame, though neither could see him. he felt too guilty to look at the two. george didnt blame him but that was more than he could say for himself. maybe it wasnt right to feel guilty for dying. but john couldnt help it. it wasnt his fault he died, and yet he felt terrible about it.

"im sorry." he said quietly. they couldnt hear him but he would say it anyway.

when he looked back up georges eyes were focused on him, his head resting atop pauls. he gave a subtle nod at john before letting his eyes drift away, getting caught in the pretty colors of the sunset. john felt his pulse race. did george hear him? see him? he scrambled to his knees, moving into georges direct line of sight once again.

"george? did you hear me? blink twice if you can see me! send me a sign! say something! aknowledge me!" george stayed silent. john grew frustrated. "fucking right bastard you are, george!" he flopped back onto his ass, angry at everything, but mostly just himself.

"i dont blame him either." paul said softly, after some thought. "hes still an asshole though." george chuckled quietly. paul picked at georges shirt.

"i think we should see each other more. i miss you, georgie."

george smiled; soft, vunerable. he stayed quiet for a beat or two.

"stay tonight." his voice was soft and warm. "we can light some candles, have a few drinks. we'll dedicate the night to john."

paul looked up at george, a grin catching his lips even as his eyes watered. he nodded, determined. "to john, then."

"to me!" john agreed, a smile tugging at his lips.

"who knows," george smiled and his voice was playful, though his eyes were sad. "maybe johnny will join us."

johns smile wavered only a bit.

"yea, maybe i will."

**Author's Note:**

> you can be mean. critique is always appreciated.
> 
> i was gonna write a chapter 2 but nah


End file.
